It’s going to storm.

I am sitting on our back deck, in the place I call my paradise, and watch as the light is sucked from the sky. The growling of thunder in the distance reminds me that soon I should go inside, leave the garden to the rain. Alone with my thoughts, however, I let the breeze lift my hair as my fingers join to keyboard to record joy.

This morning, I was blessed to be invited to the Bar Mitzvah of my colleague’s son. Colleague – but also mentor, teacher, and most importantly, friend. Being a part of someone’s Simcha, (as we say in Hebrew, which means happiness, but can be more appropriately translated in this case as “joyful occasion”) makes my heart soar. Listening to the chanting in synagogue and then watching DS dancing with his incredible family, I couldn’t help but smile and feel a sense of peace that I haven’t felt in a long time.

As an Emergency Physician, I sometimes feel like a cog in a wheel. It’s easy to feel like I am replaceable, that were I to leave, no one would really notice because someone else would just fill my shoes. I think most of us feel this way. It’s hard not to.

But then a morning like today comes along, and reminds me that it is possible to be colleagues who care about each other. It is possible to feel connections to one another beyond that of co-workers. It is healthy, real and lovely.  

As I prepare to vacate my space outdoors, I make space in my heart for simcha. I welcome it, like I welcome the lightning, a bolt to my soul when I need it most.